Laughing at the title of my previous post.

As I'm logging on to blogger for the first time in far too long, I saw the title of the last post that went up since I've started school.

"Why am I not busy?"


Ha ha ha ha.

It. Does. Not. Last.

Fear not, Heather from two months ago. The busy will come.

Those empty chairs at that empty table will not be empty for much longer. You're going to meet some people soon. It won't take long, and once you meet these people, you'll find that you'll grow close very quickly. You'll find yourself spending every day with a wonderful group of people, and you'll have strong bonds that help to pull you out of the loneliness (that you are currently in denial about. It's okay. You just left home for the first time. There's nothing wrong with feeling a little lonesome.)

You'll soon find it perfectly normal to spend the last few hours of your nights down the hall, studying with your friends to the sound of laughter and the Beatles. You'll also spend quite a few nights in there watching movies and drinking tea. Or maybe just taking turns throwing an unopened pack of crackers into an empty coffee mug. It doesn't matter. You're just enjoying being with your friends. You're expanding your comfort zone.

You'll also find yourself, though you won't be sure how you got there, spending hours in a freezing theater with some of the craziest people that you've ever met. You're going to sit on the sidelines for a while, only hanging around long enough to say your lines, and only talking to the wonderful friend who brought you there. But then you're going to start warming up to these people. You're going to have conversations that aren't a part of the script, and you're going to have some good laughs, and you're going to be glad that you decided to stick with the play (even though it will take its toll on a few test grades. It's okay. Ob La Di.)

Oh, and you'll find yourself going on a retreat with people who you don't know that well, but afterwards you'll feel like family. It'll be great. You'll think about how long it's been since you've had a weekend to listen to the Lord. (and study. Don't forget to study.)

You'll take a lot of tests. You'll write a lot of papers. You'll get a bad grade or two, which is new. But that's okay. You're gonna grow from it.

You're gonna find yourself stretched thin a few times, because now that you've got a life going on at school, you have to learn how to balance it with your home life. You're going to have some busy weekends, and you're going to figure out which are your strongest relationships, because those are the ones that are gonna last through the distances and the absence. You're going to have some fun, and realize how much you love your family and friends at home.

There's going to be some rough things going on at home. You're going to find yourself driving slightly panicked straight from school to the hospital on a few occasions. It won't be fun, but you can do it.

You're gonna find yourself driving home in tears a few times when you first get started, because you're not very good at realizing how much you're actually dealing with. It's a lot of change at one time, and it's okay if you can't handle it at first. You're trying to be big and grown, and prove to everyone that you can transition just fine, and that they underestimated you. And you're probably right, but that doesn't mean that you don't have to admit when you're overwhelmed. There's nothing wrong with crying out to God in a fog of self-pity. You need to get past that. You need to hand it over. You need to let it go, and then move on.

Don't feel the need to romanticize everything that you go through. Not everything is gonna come easy, and that's okay. When you go home and people ask you, "How is college?" It's okay if you say "It's tough, but God's working."

You've got a lot of growing ahead of you. In just a few months, you're going to change a lot. But it's good. You're becoming who God's intended for you to be. You're becoming you. And this is just the first semester.

There are greater things to come.

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